I hate not knowing how to do something.
I hate not knowing what to say.
I hate not being able to express myself through words.
I hate it when I fail at something.
I hate being a disappointment. 

Woke up.
Guitar class - small kine lost but it’s okay :) this white guy kept looking back and tried to start a conversation with me. hahaha :P I needa buy a guitar asap. Idk, why I keep pushing that back.
COP office/lunch - did Filipino homework. didn’t finish. haha
Filipino - Fastest 2hrs as always. Finished my hw for that class in class & then realized we didn’t need to turn it in… >:/
Work - hhaha, didn’t really do much. haha! :P Got a baklava since I didn’t have 5cents for a smoothie :(
Ran the track - w/ Nathan, Jessie, and Jen :) I haven’t ran in a looooong ass while so I was surprised how much I did today! :D
Dinner - Eggs, portuguese sausage, spam, rice, hamburger helper meat thing. Nomz with Jessie, Jen, Nathan, Sterling, and Dean ^___^ Feasting after a workout! Gaining back all them calories. haaha!
Homework - I guess I’ll start now. Damn you Eng 200. I hope I’m doing the right hw… I need to make friends in that class. I don’t pay attention :(

Hope everyone had a fantastic Monday! :D 

I can only do so much to help someone. and this feeling fuckin’ sucks because I want to help but I can’t. That stupid feeling of being helpless. and then I worry a lot because I care so much. 
This weekend had it’s ups & downs.
and I can only hope & pray for the best for us all <3  

Storto’s, InkPit, Sandy’s Beach, and Bonfire ;)
Pretty good for the 2nd week of 2012.

Sadly, that’s all I’m capable of.

1. Height: 5’7 (I know, I’m fkn tall for a Filipino).
2. Virgin? Yes.
3. Shoe Size: 9.
4. Sexual Orientation: Straight
5. Do you Smoke? No.
6. Do you Drink? Yes.
7. Do you Take Drugs? No.
8. Age you get mistaken for: 18-21.
9. Have Tattoos? Nope.
10. Want any tattoos? Yes. Next summer! ;D

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1. How did you get one of your scars?
   One from the Makapu’u shoreline hike in 09. I walked into a shape rock -__- The other, scraping my knee on the metal stuff at the top of the Koko Head hike.
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
   It was at Sariling Gawa. I wore a pink crown (from Leilani) and the delegates made me skip around the room at Camp Erdman >:/ LOL!
3. How are you feeling at this moment? 
   Bored. I swear I’m just wasting my life away. But it feels good to do nothing.
4. How did your night go last night? 
   Last night was Christmas. I just had dinner at my house and I also went up to Destiny’s to chill with Rye & Kira :)
5. How did you do in high school? 
   Pretty well. Graduated with Magna Cum Lade :) I miss HS.
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? 
   I think it was a gift from a few years ago. Haha.
7. How often do you see your best friend? 
   Maybe a few times a week but only bc it’s WInter Break. When school starts, it’s rare. Talking about Jen, she’s currently in the Motherland but during school, almost everyday. lol.
8. How old do you want to be when you get married? 
   Between the years of 25-30. LOL.
9. How old will you be at your next birthday? 
   20. 0__0 Goodbye, teen years.
10. How did you get your Tumblr name?
    It’s just spelt how many people say “RubyTUESDAY.” lol.

Nine What’s:

1. What is your mothers name? 
   Priscila.
2. What did you do last weekend? 
   Christmas weekend! Friday-Big Family Christmas party at our house. Went to see the Heineken tree. Saturday-Christmas Eve. Didn’t do much though since everyone worked. I watched movies. Sunday-Dinner with family & went up to Destiny’s house.
3. What is the most important part of your life? 
   My Faith.
4. What would you rather be doing? 
   Chillin’ with some friends.
5. What did you last cry over? 
   Probably watching “Anak” in my IP364 class & the reflection discussion after.
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? 
   Hugs. Friends. Retail therapy. Listening to music. 
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? 
   Understanding. Commitment. Faithfulness. A Best friend. Shares the same faith. Funny. Loving. :)
8. What are you worried about?  
   Nothing.
9. What did you have for breakfast? 
   I don’t eat breakfast :(

Eight Have You’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? 
   I think so. Well, probably just crushin’.
2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? 
   Nope.
3. Have you ever been out of the country? 
   To the PI. 
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? 
   Countless times.
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? 
   Mmmmmhmmm.
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? 
   Uh, no. I’d try the drink though. lol!
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? 
   Negatory.
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? 
   Yezz. Captain Underpants. hahhahaha

Seven Who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? 
   My sister.
2. Who was the last person you texted? 
   Twitter…. and Ashley Takeuchi :)
3. Who was the last person you hungout with? 
   Kira, Ryelee, and Destiny.
4. Who was the last person to call you? 
   My Momma.
5. Who did you last hug? 
   Rye & Des.
6. Who is the last person who texted you? 
   Erikaaa.
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?  
   My Mom?

Six Where’s:

1. Where does your best friend live? 
   Cali. Portland. Waipahu. Waimanalo. lol.
2. Where did you last go? 
   Destiny’s house.
3. Where did you last hang out? 
   Destiny’s house.
4. Where do you go to school? 
   UH Maaaanoa.
5. Where is your favorite place to be? 
   My room. ahha. 
6. Where did you sleep last night? 
   In my room w/ Marshie.

Five Do’s:

1. Do you like someone right now? 
   Nah. Maybe just a crush but it’s whatevers. lol.
2. Do you think anyone likes you? 
   Nope.
3. Do you ever wish you were someone else? 
   Sometimes.
4. Do you know the muffin man? 
   “the muffin man, the muffin man…”
5. Does the future scare you? 
   Heck yes.

Four Why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? 
   Because they ARE okay?!
2. Why did you get a Tumblr? 
   Because I got bored.
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? 
   B/c they thought of me as a precious jewel. (LAME)
4. Why are you doing this survey? 
   I’m hella bored. 

Three If’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
   Shape Shifter. I could BE anything or anyone I want to be >:)
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? 
   Yeah. Secret though. ahaha
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? 
   One ulu’a spear. HAHA

Two Would-You-Ever’s

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? 
   Nope.
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? 
   Yezzzzzzzz!

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now? 
   :) Mmhmm!

I feel like I’m weak. Like if I had the chance I’d do it. But then I realized I’m stronger than that. Since I stayed away and refused for this long, it must be because I’m waiting for something better. I know I’m stronger than I’d like to believe.

I wish I had more confidence.

I told my Mom about transferring to UH West-Oahu and she’s fine with it.
However, she questioned me a couple times about why I don’t want to be a “doctor” anymore. I said it was too much for me to handle. She thinks if I worked hard enough I could do it. I know I can, but I already know I’m not putting much heart into it, meaning it’s not something I would really want to do.
I already feel like I let my Mom down T___T Great. All I want to do is make my Mama proud. She wants me to graduate on time. I better atleast be able to do that for her :/ I most’def need to find at UHWO when I leave UHM. Possibly a summer job, too since Imma be in summer school………. *sigh* 

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Has more than one person ever told you they’re in love with you?
“Loved” but never in present tense. I don’t believe it though.

Is the last person you texted dating you?
Nope!

Would you date a 13 year old at the age you are now?
EW. That’s like cougar status.

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